For years, Altovise Pelzer carried around a secret that she had kept concealed from everybody. No one knew, not even her mother. It wasn’t until she felt compelled to share it with her daughter that Altovise went from silence to finding and loving her voice. In this, our second episode in the Recovering From Divorce Series, Altovise shares her story of molestation, being evicted from her home, going through a divorce and being a people pleaser. But most of all, she shares her journey of enoughness and the unexpected full circle that brought her face-to-face with her ex-husband.
In this episode, Altovise talks about:
–How she lost her voice and learned to love her voice
–Owning her role in why the marriage didn’t work
–How writing was cleansing for her and allowed her to recognize what she had to change inside
–The importance of becoming a healthy example for her children so they know how to treat others and impact others in a positive way
“Motivation gets you over the hump, education helps prevent you from making mistakes someone else makes.”
“ We have to understand people have bad days. People have emotions moment, but you have to be able to love them through it. You have to be able to understand their perspective. And once you understand then you can properly communicate with someone.”
“The first time I had to say no was to me saying no to having a pity party.”
“I can’t change other people, I can change me”
“I would have thought it made her [your daughter] feel horrified. Now that I think about it, it probably gave her permission to share more.”
“I am learning to say ‘no’ without having to explain it, without having to censor myself, or judge myself.”
“ It’s not saying no to people per se, it’s saying no to the people pleaser.”
“Your secret sauce is you.”
Experiencing a trauma in your life can render you silent and confused about your own value–what lies at the root of people pleasing. It may seem like you’ll be stuck in that silence forever, but you can find and love your voice. If you are willing to open your heart, you can learn to love your voice, find your power and recognize the doors of opportunity being opened just for you.
Altovise Pelzer is the founder of the World Voice League, a Best-Selling Author, and Professional Speaker. She is the mother of four and will break out into an impromptu dance party, take a beach trip, or read a book. She also hosts the #Speakeasy podcast, your number one podcast for unscripted perspectives on becoming and staying a successfully paid author or speaker. She is the contributing author to the #1 best selling book Speak Up: The Ultimate Guide to Dominate in the Speaking Industry. She is quite the success story, but it hasn’t always been that way. She has been through homelessness and molestation. After years of silence she now uses her voice to motivate women to leverage their life circumstances by learning to love their voice.
Altovise Pelzer Official Website http://www.altovisepelzer.com
Altovise Pelzer Book https://www.speakupthebook.com/blackspeakersnetwork
Altovise Pelzer Group Facebook facebook.com/groups/worldvoiceleague
Altovise Pelzer #SpeakEasy Podcast https://www.spreaker.com/user/speakeasypodcast
Altovise Pelzer Love My Voice Networking and Empowerment Tour bit.ly/lovemyvoice19