Be a good wife!
It seemed to be a central theme whenever I would hear a discussion about getting married but there were varying definitions of what the “good wife” really meant. When we look at the divorce rate in the US you would probably believe that there is an abundance of “not so good wives or husbands”.
Honestly, when I was signing the paperwork for my divorce that is exactly what I thought! I had failed at being the “good wife” and therefore the only other choice was to be a “good girlfriend”. That is far from the truth because I married in my mid 20’s during a time when many are in college making interesting life choices for pizza and frisbees. It was not necessarily the ideal environment for building a family.
Something else that I learned many years later was that I was not going into the marriage as a whole person. There were many past traumas that my ex-husband never knew about. Things that affected how I was attempting to live up to the Claire Huxtable sprinkled with Lil Kim image of the “good wife”. Yea, I’m sure you can imagine now why my head was so twisted.
Being the “good wife” is not about perfection!
Honestly, I talked to more married couples after my divorce than I did while I was married. I had a few couples that we would go out with but many were in my age range with similar beliefs. The ones who had been in a relationship for a longer time were friends of my ex-husband. See the dilemma? After my divorce, I found a love for talking to couples who were together for decades. (Besides the obvious comical side of it) They helped me see that it wasn’t that I was a “bad wife”.
That gave me relief.
My hope is that what Tamora wants to share with you today will give you that same peace or understanding. We all have things we are working on and being a wife is about learning through stages. The stage where it is just you and him, the stage when you have children, the stage when losing a loved one…we grow through each experience.
The openness to growing and learning is what makes you a “good wife”. Learn you, learn him, and learn what works best for both of you.
Here is what Tamora wanted to share with you:
A blessing to her husband: Prov. 31:12 She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
She is an asset to her husband
She enhances who God has already designed him to be, by being who God has designed her to be.
Can he trust you not to complain about him or expose his weaknesses to others, but rather build him up?
Are you, like the Proverbs woman, doing good things for him?
It’s also worth noting that she does them all the days of her life. Forever, never-ending, every day. Regardless to be mad, frustrated, upset. Not only for the occasion, like bdays, anniversaries, holidays. ALL THE DAYS OF HER LIFE. She is his life partner.
She blesses him by contributing to his reputation.
Other men admire a man who has a wife that supports him and manages his household well; don’t you want to add to your husband’s esteem in the eyes of others? I know I do!
Be a blessing to your husband. If you’re already a wife, are you a blessing to your King. Are you increasing his influence by being the blessing? And if you aren’t married yet, are you doing to work to BECOMING the Proverbs 31 Wife?
Tamora is the founder of Make It R.I.S.E. (Rebuild Intentionally & Strategically for Effectiveness) and is dedicated to partnering with married couples, divorcees and those DWAP (Dating With A Purpose). Tamora’s mission is to create a movement and change the face of what society says marriage is. Tamora is the author of The Marriage Policies and Procedures. She shares what it takes to build the blueprint for thriving marriage and encourages couples to add tools to their marriage toolbox in an effort to continuously R.I.S.E. and find personal fulfillment in their divine purpose, to be better equipped for the relationship.